Written by: Hamzah Moin
Now there are at least seven new (annoying) trends on Facebook facing Muslims. Oh joy.

Parents joining Facebook
You know, it’s nice to have parents joining Facebook to spy...I mean participate in their loved ones online lives but I think parents need to realize they’re opening a can o’ worms by sending a friend request to their kids.

So a parent sends out a friend request to their kids… what are their kids supposed to do? They’re just faced with a huge problem: either declining the person who helped bring them to existence or accepting and altering dinner table conversations forever.

“Wait… isn’t your friend Sumaya a hijabi?”
“Wow I never thought the imam’s son was so aggressive in his dawah… going to night clubs is a great place for dawah. MashAllah he has so many young Italian wives?”
“Son, did you accept my Farmville invite? My farm is so, as you say, awesome.”

Even if you don’t add your parents, they’ll either find you or Facebook, now becoming nearly self-aware, will “suggest” you become friends with your parents. Facebook knows. It wants to destroy your family life and dinner table conversations. It’s step 1 in its plan to rule the world.

PDA (Public Displays of Affection) I wish I didn’t see.

Before Facebook, Muslim couples were intimate in their own home and NOBODY had to know about it. It was bliss. The couple was happy. Everyone else was happy because we weren’t tortured by their PDA and because Muslims couples sort of have a code of conduct in public. You know, like keeping the lovey-dovey stuff private and for the spouse only?

Facebook came along and the line between what should only be in the bedroom and what everyone else sees has been sort of blurred. Today we are now tortured with heart signs